How can I forgive others
Forgiving someone who really hurt you is one of the hardest things the Bible asks of us, and also one of the most freeing once it happens.
Forgiving someone who really hurt you is one of the hardest things the Bible asks of us, and also one of the most freeing once it happens.
1. Start by understanding what forgiveness is NOT
Forgiving does not mean saying what happened was okay, and it does not necessarily mean restoring trust right away. It means releasing your right to get even, without denying that real harm occurred.
2. Remember how much you have been forgiven
Matthew 18:21-35 tells the parable of a servant who was forgiven a huge debt, but then refused to forgive a small one. Remembering your own forgiven failures usually helps release resentment toward others.
3. Forgiveness is a decision, not always an immediate feeling
Ephesians 4:32 asks you to be “forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” A feeling of peace about what happened often comes after deciding to forgive, not before.
4. It may take several decisions, not just one
Matthew 18:22 talks about forgiving “seventy times seven,” a way of saying forgiveness is sometimes a repeated process, not a single event resolved forever in one moment.
5. Hand justice over to God, do not carry it yourself
Romans 12:19 says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Letting go of wanting the other person to “pay” does not mean what they did does not matter, it means trusting that part to God instead of carrying it yourself.
Forgiving does not erase what happened or force you to pretend it did not hurt. It is a decision that frees you, even if the other person never finds out or never changes.
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